Discovering me…

6 Feb
I woke up this morning with the sound of two of my girls fighting over who is more my daughter than the other… I laughed when I heard this, but it got me thinking. Isn’t that the burning questions in most of our hearts? Who and whose am I? And is there a place for me in the ‘family’, just the way I am? For some time now I have pondered on the word “identity” and its importance in our lives. I have studied the topic, read books about it (which, by the way has changed my life), and yet, it took me 37 years to really understand what it means to discover who I really am, the real me. What does it look like to actually have real identity? It has been a major part of my journey last year. My life had to come to a halt, in a way, to learn more about my own identity. Taking a step back,  got me to see who I really am. So often other things define us: what I do, what I’ve been taught, who others expect me to be… And when all this is taken out of the equation it gives you a chance to start from afresh discovering the true you. Feeling comfortable with who you are, learning to be honest about failures or faults, learning to enjoy yourself, actually learning to just be and loving it. That’s it!

Just Be...

A while ago, someone said to me that I should listen to my daughters. The three of them will teach me profound things. I have subsequently made an effort to pay attention to what my kids say and do. I truly believe that identity is one major aspect which we can learn from kids. Lana (our nearly-3 year old) often say to me; “Why can’t I have a bite of your ice cream, I’m your daughter?” or she would look at her sister in a highly offended way and say “How can you leave me alone in the kitchen, I’m your sister?”. I’ve come to realise that she feels so secure in our love and she understands her place in this family in such a way that she believes that what is ours, is hers and what we own and carry, she has access to. How much more can we be ourselves instead of relentlessly striving to become.

Feeling secure

I’ve read in an awesome book: “When our activities are an expression of our person, it is amazing how much we enjoy what we do.” So I’m thinking, that is ultimately lived out if we are secure in who we are. This is my vision for 2012, that what I do has to be an expression of who I am, without striving or trying, it has to come from my inner most being, it has to look and smell and feel like authentically me. That for me is the breakthrough in the journey of discovering myself. Even if what I do, say or write looks a bit messy, its me… That is the way I want to walk into my destiny, as me. I have made the great decision of not becoming what I think I should be. Instead, I am being who I am. Growth and change is obviously not excluded, just stopping the endless striving. That excites me. And the life-lessons will shape this ‘me’.
And best of all is that this is the inheritance we leave to our childrens’ generation. For them to keep on feeling secure enough to be themselves. To sustain this in a world that could be very formula-driven, with high expectations and the ‘perfect’ picture of what people should look like, act like, be like. Isn’t that exciting that our children are in a place where they can live this, now, without walking half of their life before realizing this truth. This is how my breakthrough becomes their inheritance…

One Response to “Discovering me…”

  1. Paul February 6, 2012 at 9:57 am #

    This is really good Loudine, loved it! i feel the same about this in my own context

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: